Enough

In The End

Tara Sophia Mohr

In the end
you won’t be known
for the things you did,
or what you built,
or what you said.

You won’t even be known
for the love given
or the hearts saved,

Because in the end you won’t be known.

You won’t be asked, by a vast creator full of light:
What did you do to be known?

You will be asked: Did you know it,
this place, this journey?

What there is to know can’t be written.
Something between the crispness of air
and the glint in her eye
and the texture of the orange peel.

What you’ll want a thousand years from now is this:
a memory that beats like a heart–
a travel memory, of what it was to walk here,
alive and warm and textured within.

Sweet brightness, aliveness, take-me-now-ness that is life.

You are here to pay attention. That is enough.

More thankful goodness

Thankful for:

8) Rad ladies who take me on their pub-crawl. I went on my first this past weekend and it was so much fun. So many great memories. I laughed so freaking hard and had a blast.

9) My husband who watched the boys so I could go.

10) Rian's school. I am truly thankful for where my little man spends most of his day.

11) Dr. Seuss. I had wanted to post something celebratory on his birthday, but obviously didn't. We have recently checked out Horton Hears a Who! from the library for like the 8th time. I LOVE THIS BOOK. (And so does Ethan, apparently, who has been having me read it at least twice every day for the last week. Not that I mind!)

12) Running friends who drag you out of a warm, comfy spot, (at 5:30 AM!!!) next to a cuddly 4 year old who snuck into your bed in the middle of the night, just to run.

14) Rian and Ethan's passion about our solar system. Looking at the night sky has never made me want to learn more about it than when checking it out with them.

13) My boys. I just love them so much.

14) Ruby Red Grapefruit. It is so yummy.

15) Fights over who gets to play the piano. All four of us. This is a pretty sweet "issue" in our house. I love it.

15) Song of the day...

Thankful

In the spirit of the first day of lent, I am starting something. I know, I know, usually people give something up or avoid doing something but this will, hopefully, have a similar effect and stretch me a little. Remind me to be...thankful.

I'm borrowing this idea and going to begin making a list of 1000 things I'm thankful for. (Cheesy? Oh, absolutely. Doing it anyway? Of course!) Not sure how long this will take. Just going with it.

Anyway, jumping right in….Day 1 of thankful confessions.

1) Early morning runs. For me, the day starts off on the right foot (heh) and I get it out of the way. I never really, truly want to go but once I do, I’m glad.

2) Good moods. Both boys woke up in a good mood this morning and we made it to school without any arguing, annoyance or frustration. Lately, most of our mornings aren't. HOORAY!

3) COFFEE.

3) Rian’s enthusiasm about me coming to work in his classroom. I love doing it but it means even more to me that he is excited about me being there. Someday he won’t want me hanging around at his school and I’m so thankful that he isn’t there yet.

4) Prayers last night. Ethan was thankful for his big brother Rian. Rian was thankful for the Bible.

5) NEW DISHES. I ate my yogurt and pineapple this morning out of a brand new green bowl and it made me happy. A precious friend and her husband surprised us with a very generous gift of a set of Ikea plates and bowls. They are simple, a light celery color and I love them. I can’t believe how fun it is having a nearly full dishwasher but not having to run it because there are clean dishes in the cupboard still! Eek, so fun!! (Ah, the exciting life of being a mom!)

6) My phone. This morning I made a call I’ve been putting off for weeks and it actually felt good hearing the voice on the other end. I’ve missed it.

7) Today I am thankful for these guys and their music

Ethan Jude turns 4

Four years ago today this little guy joined our family.

(OH MY GOSH, I want to snuggle this precious bundle!!! Looking at baby pictures is so addicting and I can't believe how FAST my boys are growing up! *sniff*)

A few things about this four year old:

-Ethan loves sports. He is obsessed with playing basketball right now and is a very intense dribbler and "donk" maker. He loves to run and is ACTIVE.

-He ADORES his big brother Rian. He talks constantly about "my friend Rian." A phrase we hear repeated over and over, "Hey, Rian..."

-He has a pair of black kid gloves and wears them all the time. Everywhere. He wears them to bed, when he eats (yes, I'm working on this one...), in the bathroom (again, working on this..), all the time. It's pretty cute.

-He loves Science and "doing science" by playing with water and cups.

-Ethan is enthusiastic and easily excitable. (I love this.)

-He loves being read to.

-He loves to be cuddled and is super snuggly.

-He is full of curiosity, usually starting and ending the day with questions.

-He has the most kissable face.

-Ethan is an intense little guy. He can be extremely difficult but on the other hand extremely loving.

-He is friendly.

-He is hilarious, incredibly silly and playful.

-His family loves him so much!!!

Happy Birthday, Ethan!

Times like these

Sometimes, I hear a song that just fits.

This is one of those songs.

Chemical Reactions

We really like our library. Wait, let me rephrase that, we freaking LOVE our library. At this moment we have 48 books and 9 dvds checked out. This is usually the norm in our house. However, sadly, we probably will end up returning some books unread....

Anyway, EIGHT of those dvds are Bill Nye The Science Guy videos. Remember him? I used to watch him on PBS growing up, thought he was pretty hilarious, and even learned a thing or two from his show. So when I saw one at the library a couple weeks back, I first squealed with delight (there may or may not have been a little happy dance) and then explained to two confused (slightly embarrassed) boys about how much I enjoyed his show growing up. We started with Space Exploration and The Moon. That's all it took and now, it's all Rian and Ethan want to watch. Ethan refers to it as, "watching Science."

A clip from our current fav:

Here are some of the things I've heard from my little scientists lately:

"I just love science!!" - Rian

"Hey mom, I'd really like some H2O. It's science." - Rian

"I want sodium chloride. That's salt, mommy." - Ethan

Walked into the kitchen to find Ethan shaking the dish soap container and then staring at the bubbles it made. The bottle was slightly open and I told him to stop doing that. (Bad mom moment, I know) He looked at me and sighed, "But, mommy, I'm just doing science!"

Caught Ethan jumping from couch to couch, shouting between jumps, "This table is a chemical reaction!" "This couch is a chemical reaction!" "That water is a chemical reaction!" "My friend Rian is a chemical reaction!" "Everyone is a chemical reaction!" "Chemicals react and isn't that COOL?"

Why, hello there

You're back!!

This goes without saying...

So, here we are.

Ethan started preschool in the fall, is now writing his name, singing new songs he's learned and has been "teaching" his teachers how to shoot hoops, make "donks", and practice their defensive football tactics.

Rian is doing awesome in 3rd grade. He LOVES his teacher (as do I!) and has some really great buddies. He's been playing football at recess as of late and I hear he is quite the wide receiver. He played soccer in the fall and will be playing again soon in the spring. Basketball season started last month for him and he plays like Gerald Wallace. I mean, this kid has some wicked skills. He plays his heart out and just has the most awesome, up-beat attitude.

I'm taking a break this quarter from classes. It has been really, really nice. I'm running more again and have recruited a few ladies to run with me in the early morning hours during the week. Nothing like the alarm going off at 5:15 A.M. Ugh...and to think I once thought of myself as a morning person.

Eric is keeping busy, studying some crazy stuff and working hard at the same time, leading a Cub Scout den, teaching our boys about math, science, the solar system and just EVERYTHING. Yeah, he's pretty great. :)

Why has it taken me so long to get back to this? That wasn't so hard! A brief catch-up, an awesome tune and I'm thinking the happenings in 2012 might be blogged about after all.

Running? Not so much

Since the marathon I've run twice. TWICE. Once that week after the marathon, a short and easy 3 mile recovery run that felt really good. I did have some knee pain but nothing too serious but I decided to not push it and take a full week of not running to recover. So then my next run was two weeks after the marathon. I ran a 6 mile loop and ended up limp-walking about 3 miles of it.

BOOO.

My knee hurt for two days after that. It sucked.

Lucky me, I had a doctor's appointment that week anyway and she advised me to not run for the next 4 weeks, ice my knee and take Aleve. Then try an easy run. If I still have knee pain then she'll set me up with an orthopedic doctor. I honestly don't think it's anything serious. I think I just ran through an already injured, tired knee and it's letting me know it needs a break.

I know that rest is a good thing and the only way any healing will happen. I don't want to end up one of those stupid people who runs through pain and ends up really doing some real damage. Hopefully I haven't already been one of those stupid people. So, I'm following doctor's orders. I really shouldn't complain, this isn't that bad.

Still, it kinda sucks. I miss running.

We are going to be friends

I can't get this song out of my head as I post these.

*After spending the afternoon playing in leaf piles, yelling "Surprise!" while throwing leaves in the air or when jumping out of a pile, Ethan now points to leaves on the ground and calls them "surprise".

Random sweetness

Tonight as I was reading to the boys Ethan got up to play some football.

"Oofball, please? Play oofball please?"

Sure Ethan, anything when you say it like that. I would lasso the moon if you asked for it.

I kept reading, Rian and I were so into the story.

After a few minutes Ethan stops playing, leans over Rian and says something to make them both giggle and then gives him a kiss. Then leans over and gives me one.

He looks back and forth between Rian and I.

"I wuv you guys."

Quite possibly one of my favorite moments ever.

Marathon (FINALLY!!)

26.2 in 4:35:17

Rocked it. Well, slowly rocked it. I DID IT. I finished. I ran a freaking marathon. Yay!

Marathon morning dawned dark and rainy. NO PROBLEM, SO EXCITED. Months of training lead up to this day. A little rain wasn't going to dampen my excitement. I was also pretty much over the top excited because of my outfit: new shorts, awesome new running top and my new-ish shoes. (Umm, went a little crazy and got a whole new running outfit. Thank you mom and dad!)

About two hours before the race I ate a bowl of cereal, banana, biscuit with jelly and drank a cup of tea and half a cup of coffee. I was drinking as much water as I could and then about an hour before the race I drank about 12 ounces of Accelerade. It totally worked and I felt hydrated and fueled. :)

My amazing husband drove me out to Hood River. We had a hard time finding the start, the idiot who made the map of where to go apparently had never been to Hood River and didn't actually follow his own directions, which were ALL WRONG. Talk about stressful. I could practically feel my body burning off my breakfast fuel just from those stressful 15 min. And then I started stressing that I'd get hungry during the race and feel weak and have to eat something, which I don't usually do, so I'd end up with a stomachache and have to walk and it would take forever and AHHHH!! I think my brain nearly exploded.

We ended up following some group that looked like they knew where they were going, found the start, went pee, stretched a little. It stopped raining, the sun peeked through the clouds and a beautiful rainbow made an appearance.

Starting line!!

(You can stop staring at the neon-stripe bums now.

Dang, I should have turned around and asked for posing pointers)

I had a few minutes before the race was to start so I kissed Eric, grabbed some water, stretched, hugged Eric, deep breath, walked to the starting line, stretched some more, ran back and got one last encouraging hug from Eric and then, finally, I was ready (and the announcer started counting down). Hopeful. Excited. Ready. HA!

My sis-in-law Jessie had hooked me up with a friend of hers that was running the marathon as well so while we hadn't run together in training we planned to run at least some of the marathon together. She was awesome. Such an amazing, incredible woman. She was so, so encouraging. Plus it was super fun running with someone. I really do like running alone. I get lost in my own head, listen to my music, escape. But running with someone is really fun, especially when running that long of a distance.

It's so hard to run slow when that gun goes off. Everything in you wants to leap forward and just take off. I make that mistake every race I have run (haven't been many) and didn't, couldn't make that mistake for this one. My first hour of songs were selected specially because of their zen-calming, chill effect. A little Jack Johnson, Portishead, Hooverphonic, Alexi Murdoch, Modest Mouse to start things off. It helped. Then I picked it up with some M.I.A., Blakes, Snoop, La Roux, T.I., Fratellis, Zox etc, etc, etc. Oh man, my marathon playlist was KICK-BOOTY. Seriously, it totally rocked. I totally want to just sit here and type it all out so that everyone knows and appreciates how great it was but don't worry, I won't. So worth the hours of my life it took to put it together. Such sweet tunes. Ahh, I get goosebumps just thinking about it. SO. FREAKING. GOOD.

The first three miles were immediately uphill. I was really worried that I might die at the top but I actually felt really good and it didn't hurt that I was running it at a slower pace than I have ever run a hill before. But then it started raining. We're talking torrential downpour. It was awesome. We were all immediately soaked. I was so thankful that I wore a hat (not at all part of my original ensemble but so thankful for it!). It poured on us for a couple miles.

This is when my knee started hurting. Well it started hinting to me about mile 3 but I ignored it because it wasn't too bad and I just couldn't even entertain the idea of walking that early. I figured that would happen but thought it would be later on.

Check it out: a nearly 900 ft elevation gain from mile 1 to 14. 800 ft of which are between mile 8 and 14. Ouch! Actually, I swear those downhills nearly killed me. I was run-limping (yes, there is such a thing) downhill at mile 15. I'm sure that was attractive.

Grace and I ran the first 18 miles or so together and then hit (another) steep uphill and she had some foot trouble and wanted to walk up. I thought she would end up catching up to me but something came over me at about mile 19 and I just couldn't stop running. I was on autopilot. I thought I would hit the "wall" but instead I couldn't stop. Weird. My body just took over and my legs kept moving. Plus whenever I slowed to walk through the aide stations to grab Gatorade my legs started SCREAMING and my knee hurt like hell when I started running again so it was just better to keep going.

When I hit mile 24 I texted Eric so that he would know when to meet me at the finish. I started heading down the dreaded last couple miles of downhill, turned a corner and heard some shouting, looked up and there was my family cheering me on. I think I may have actually skipped a bit, swung both arms up in an attempt at a wave and managed a loud shriek of excitement (it really was excitement guys!). Seeing Eric, Rian, Tom, Carol and Ethan gave me a huge second (or maybe eighth) wind and I ran the last 2 miles.

I'm such a lucky girl. Not only did some family surprise me at the race and meet me at the finish line but they planned a celebration afterwards with yummy food and made complete with a Costco cake (yum). A huge, HUGE THANK YOU!! I'm truly blessed. Thank you!!

OH, I did do the whole ice bath thing afterwards and thought I was going to die. Literally. I thought running for over 4 hours was bad, but soaking my feet and legs in ice might have been worse. I felt so much better after that though. I shiver now just thinking about it.

I feel a little silly talking about how proud I am but I'm going to talk about it anyway. This is my biggest accomplishment (duh, besides having two amazing boys and keeping them alive) in the past 7 years. I haven't felt totally proud of me but haven't given myself anything to be completely proud of for the past so many years so feeling pretty proud of this. Anyway...

I finished this. I trained, I struggled, I did it. I ran a marathon.

And I had FUN!! And I'm going to run another one someday. I'm totally hooked. :)

Good Day Sunshine

Pumpkin Patch

Ethan and I got to go to the pumpkin patch yesterday with our little discovery class. He was so freaking adorable. He keeps talking about wanting to go back to the "punkins patch."

"Dis one for mommy"

"Dis one for Etan"

All Shook Up

Yesterday I ran what was supposed to be an easy, short, slow run. It ended up being a discouraging, short and slow walk. My knee started hurting at the beginning of the second mile so I ended up walking the rest of the way. Not really a good sign. Urrgghhh.

Enough about that though!! A few weeks ago the boys and I went to a sock-hop put on by Rian's school. It was super fun! They danced their little legs off and we were having too much fun to take pictures of it. But at least we got a few...

Couple of cute daddy-o's

BIG NEWS!

No, it's not that. Sorry.

I am going back to school!!

And this time I'm pretty sure I know what I want to do. It only took 7+ years to figure it out. (Oh, and if you count the three years of different schools and different plans before that we're looking at 10 years. Nice)

I have decided to go into nursing.

I had applied and been accepted to the local community college in August and I just got an email stating that I have been ACCEPTED TO OSU!!! I am enrolled in a degree partnership program where I can go to both schools and my credits will carry over. That way I can take all my general classes at the (way cheaper) community college and then take the more important ones at OSU. Then I'll apply to nursing schools.

It'll be crazy I'm sure. It's a bit frightening and I'm not sure how everything will all work out but I'm really, really excited!!

The countdown begins

These babies and I are going to be running a marathon in less than a week!

I went and got new running shoes a week ago and I LOVE them. I took a chance and switched from my trusty, beloved Asics to Brooks. So far so good. I have about 20 miles on these and I am loving the fit. I LOVE my Asics and actually planned on getting the newer model of what I have but tried these on and fell in love. Aren't they CUTE?!?

I ran last Saturday and my knee started hurting around mile 4 so that was a little discouraging. I am mostly resting this week and plan on doing a couple short, easy runs so hopefully that will take care of it. Hopefully!

Some randomness...

Ethan and I have been going to a parent/child "discovery" class at the community college that a friend teaches. The class is in a preschool classroom at the college so the kids have free range to all the learning toys and great stuff in there. This class is basically a time where the kids (ranging from 2 to 5) can play together, work on simple craft projects, listen to a story, have snack and sing songs during circle time. It is sort of an introduction to preschool. It's cute. Ethan LOVES it.

Listening to the story (Ethan is in the brown shirt and jeans)

Ethan's friend Lucy is in the class with him.

I adore this little girl. She is just too freaking cute.

SOO HAPPY!

I know, he doesn't exactly look happy but trust me, he is.

This is his favorite picture face lately.

Not sure why.

I love this boy.

LOVE LOVE LOVE.